Because Pensions Are So Darn Expensive 
Saturday, March 18, 2006, 10:43 PM

I look around and it appears that 80% of the military is addicted to nicotine. Does anybody else find this disturbing?
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From Today's POD 
Monday, March 13, 2006, 12:54 PM
No, I did not author this piece.
Messdeck scuttlebutt [water fountain] has been removed, thanks entirely to those a$$holes who decided to pour Top Ramen noodles and tobacco spit down the drain instead of using: (a) a cup; (b) a used bottle; or (c) your pocket. "Here's to you, Mr. 'I Need to Spit and Pour Ramen Noodles in the Scuttlebutt Because I'm Lazy and I Suck.'" Frank talk from the EO: "Given the choice of jettisoning a perfectly innocent piece of equipment or you, we'll throw you overboard any day of the week and twice on Sunday." Questions to LT Tozzi.

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Personally, I Don't Mind If You Act Like a Jackass... 
Sunday, March 12, 2006, 12:21 PM
I simply don't understand what happens to certain people when they get alcohol in them. Guy who are normal, sane, and all around good people turn into raging lunatics as if some inner resevoir of anger just burst. I always thought that the reason you drank alcohol was to be happy and feel good. Most of the people I drank with at the Academy were the same way. Certainly we had the guys who got really silly or would play stupid games when they drank, but I've never met so many people who just got angry and stupid. It's not that I particularly care that someone is making a complete ass of themself, but when it goes to the point where I end up having to do an investigation I start having a personal stake you behaving like a normal person.
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From My OER 
Friday, March 10, 2006, 12:13 AM
Description of Duties:

As Ship's Maintenance and Materials Officer interfacing between shore side maintenance units and tracking maintenance projects, and collecting, tracking, organizing, and providing easy access to information related to engineering maintenance and materials. As Electrical Division Officer supervising a six man shop with a $40,000 budget in charge of two generators, three main switchboards, and all shipboard electrical systems. As EOIT, tasked with qualifying in five underway watch stations up through EOW and supervising the engineering watch section. As Safety Coordinator, preparing for annual safety visits and facilitating compliance with appropriate regulations.
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Costa Rica 
Thursday, March 9, 2006, 10:47 PM
We pull into Golfito tomorrow which means that everyone will be at the same two places getting drunk together. There's a lot I'd do right now to trade this port call for a couple of nights at home. Quite frankly, visiting foreign countries isn't everything it's cracked up to be.

Something to tide you over for the time being:

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21 Days and a Wakeup 
Thursday, March 9, 2006, 04:39 PM
I'm drafting a COM article for the ship on electrical safety. I added a section on enforcement that says we can cut people's cords if they don't comply with safety requirements. As a joke, I also mentioned that crock pots are specifically prohibited (the EO has one and it violates virtually all safety regulations). Five minutes after emailing the article for approval I get a call from the EO.

"Peter, you cut the cord to my crock pot and I'll ****ing kill you."

"Roger that sir."

Perhaps not a good joke to play while he's writing my OER.
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Red Gear 
Wednesday, March 8, 2006, 08:33 PM
I've worked through some technical issues with my blog and am once again able to post. I'm not sure what the problem was, but I believe it had something to do with the php support provided by my hosting company. In any case, I did absolutely nothing and the problem fixed itself.

We had a near-casualty on the #2 reduction gear. Basically if the reduction gear dies, then one of our two shafts is dead and we cannot run the turbine or the diesel on that side. Reduction gear casualties mean you immediately return to home port and don't get underway for a long time. I won't bother to spell out here my sentiment when I found out everything was OK.

I also submitted my Officer Evaluation Report (OER). Don't think that just because this single document determines in large part the next couple years of my life I avoided procrastinating and did any work on it before the last minute.
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Another Reason To Go Home 
Friday, March 3, 2006, 09:40 PM
I thought that my earlier entry regarding Panama would be sufficient for a blog like this, but I've changed my mind. I want to articulate why visiting a nice foreign country like Panama makes me want to go home even more.

A port call in Panama has all the right ingredients to make an awesome port call. First, let's start with the money. Unlike some other countries, Panama does not use some strange colorful currency with an exchange rate that is difficult to keep track of when you are drunk. Panama uses nice, green, American currency, meaning that when you leave you're not left with a bunch of worthless play money.

Unlike Costa Rica, where we select the lamest, most backwater city we can find (Golfito), in Panama we actually visit the capital. This is especially sweet becasue it means that there is more than one bar in the entire town for everyone to get wasted at. And believe me, when you've spent 30 days within 378 feet of the same 170 people, you're going to want to get away. It's may be lot of fun watching your shipmates drunkenly discuss their pent up tension and anger with each other using the time honored fist-to-the-face method. Unfortunately, sometimes you wake up with assorted bruises and a vague recollection of doing/saying things you really shouldn't have. Fast forward several weeks and you find yourself standing in front of an old man with far too many ribbons and gold bars. He explains to you that because of your actions he's obligated to take some of your money and make your life suck for a little while. That doesn't seem quite fair -- if you're going to be punished for something it would at least be nice to remember it.

Finally, Panama has nice hotels. You can't understand how important this is until you've lived in a room the size of your bathroom with three other men.

What I don't like about Panama is all the people who are trying to make money off of you. I don't mind the occasional taxi driver who takes advantage of your inebriated state to charge a little extra (this is mostly because I don't remember this ever happening). What I do mind is being bombarded and crowded by venders, whores, and taxi drivers everywhere I go. Before I went to Panama, I'd never had a prostitute grab at me on the street. The cab drivers are the worst. I arrived in Panama with one goal: get piss drunk and urinate all over myself Sam Nelson style (okay, scratch the whole urine thing). The last thing I want to deal with while stumbling back to my hotel room is a dozen cab drivers offering me "poosay." Fortunately, one of my fellow officers stumbled upon an ingenious strategy to be left alone: tell them you don't want pussy, you want dick. Works every time.
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Not Everyone Likes Sayed Rahmatullah 
Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 07:22 AM
Michelle Malkin has an interesting post that references some writing by John Fund of the Wall Street Journal. Apparently he's upset that Yale would let in a participator in the Taliban regime into Yale.
Something is very wrong at our elite universities. Last week Larry Summers resigned as president of Harvard when it became clear he would lose a no-confidence vote held by politically correct faculty members furious at his efforts to allow ROTC on campus, his opposition to a drive to have Harvard divest itself of corporate investments in Israel, and his efforts to make professors work harder. Now Yale is giving a first-class education to an erstwhile high official in one of the most evil regimes of the latter half of the 20th century--the government that harbored the terrorists who attacked America on Sept. 11, 2001.
First off let me say that Harvard's discrimination against ROTC and the military in general makes me angry, but I'm not going to talk about that right now. Let me just say that if you're confident in the reasoning and the justification for your position, you shouldn't be afraid of exposing your students to opposing views.

By the end of his piece, Fund softens his position a little, so it's actually worth reading it in its entirety. The best point I can make is that we cannot just write off everyone who is raised as extreme muslims. We need someone to convince millions of people that murdering civilians will not bring you into paradise. That person is not going to be an American born model citizen.

Michelle Malkin
John Fund from WSJ
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Bring in the Plumbers 
Monday, February 27, 2006, 08:38 PM
First off, I'm all about freedom of the press. Both in principle and from my extremely limited experience in journalism, I believe in a paper's right to publish "all the news that's fit to print." When I was editor of my high school paper, we were censored by the administration and it wasn't much fun. However, it's hard not to cringe when reading the NY Times article on German intelligence assistance in the invasion of Iraq. The pain gets worse when you read the German response and the NYT response it prompted. As a direct result of this article, foreign intelligence agencies will be less likely to share information with the United States. No foreign intelligence service is going to pass on information when there's a reasonable risk of that information and the method by which it was obtained being published in the press.

It's hard to fault The Times for printing such newsworthy information. Even if they had restrained themselves, someone else wouldn't have. The person who needs to be fired is the government employee who leaked the classified document the article was based upon. I'm no fan of bringing in the plumbers to clean up leaks in the government -- I think it allows the executive branch to keep vital information from the public by over classifying documents. That being said, there is a lot of information that were it released would be damaging to national security. Documents are classified for a reason, and releasing them to the press is a crime. Every so often, a document warrants being leaked as a reality check to remind the administration that classifying documents is not a PR tool. This was not one of those cases -- the public's right to know does not outweigh the harm done.

The only cool thing about this, was that it was fun to see military-speak appear somewhere outside of message traffic: CENTCOM, HUMINT, LNO, JFCOM, NEGRES... wait, no NEGRES wasn't in there -- this isn't a CASREP. In other news, I really should be using my time to draft a CASCOR -- which of course would include the word POSRES -- but this is much more fun.
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